The meeting was opened by Betsy Wiggins, who conveyed Danya Wellmon\u2019s appreciation for the many expressions of sympathy received from WTB members over the death of her daughter, Sara Wellmon. Many members have wanted to help in some way. Betsy reported that the family\u2019s greatest need is for assistance in caring for Sara\u2019s baby daughter, Makayla. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Betsy then introduced the members of the panel, who spoke about their religious tradition\u2019s\u2014and their own personal\u2014beliefs about marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Islam\u2014Magda Bayoumi<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Marriage is very sacred, and the families are closely\ninvolved. The man and woman write and sign a contract stipulating what each of\nthem wants from the other. The husband usually wants the wife to be faithful to\nhim and to be protective of his name. The wife, on the other hand, can spell\nout various requirements from the husband-to-be, such as:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2022 A mahr, <\/em>or dowry,\nwhich is the money that the man gives the woman before the marriage<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2022 An agreement that she can finish her education,\nand the type of support she will have after marriage<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2022 A requirement that her husband, while\nmarried to her, will not take another wife without her consent (In Islam a man\ncan marry up to four wives.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2022 How much money her husband would have to pay\nher in the event of a divorce<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Prophet advised, however, that a woman should not\nemphasize materialistic demands, but rather should desire to marry a good man\nwho will treat her well. Magda herself chose to not ask for money. Money from\nthe mahr goes to the wife, and the husband cannot touch it. If a woman inherits\nmoney, she can keep it; if a man inherits money, he must share it with his wife.\nThe woman can represent herself or appoint someone else to represent her in\nwriting the contract. The couple has to announce their marriage three days\nafter they have lived together. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Some Islamic marriages are arranged, but this is more a part\nof the culture than of the Islamic faith. If any of the parties does not\napprove of the arranged marriage, the marriage does not happen. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Judaism\u2014Joan Burstyn<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Joan emphasized that she was speaking from her personal\nexperiences of her own marriage and of marriages of family and friends. Judaism\ndoes not approve of celibacy; it considers marriage important and a sacred\ncontract. Both parties in a Jewish marriage must be Jewish. There are now some\ninterfaith marriages, but most rabbis will not perform interfaith marriages.\nCivil marriages are discouraged but recognized. In ancient times, Jewish\nmarriage had two stages\u2014betrothal and consummation; in the first century of the\nCommon Era, these two stages came together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The bridal couple, their parents, and the rabbi stand under a\nmovable bridal canopy, or chuppah. Wine is blessed and sipped twice to\nsymbolize the betrothal and the wedding. The groom traditionally places a ring\non the bride\u2019s finger, although now there are many double-ring ceremonies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The marriage contract, or ketubah,<\/em>\nis witnessed and signed by two men. Often the ketubah is framed and hung on a\nwall of the couple\u2019s home. Traditionally, at the end of the ceremony, a wine\nglass is wrapped in a cloth and stepped on to break it; this signifies the\nfragmentation of the Temple by the Romans in 70 ce.\nAfter the ceremony, the bridal couple breaks their fast. There are certain days\non which marriages cannot be performed. Some rabbis will perform same-sex\nmarriages, and Joan shared her experience of a very beautiful wedding ceremony between\ntwo lesbians.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Divorce is also an ancient tradition. In Orthodox and\nConservative Judaism, divorce can be initiated only by the husband; in Reform\nJudaism, the wife can initiate divorce. In order for a Jewish widow to remarry,\nher husband\u2019s body must be identified. This was why it was so important, for\nexample, to retrieve the remains of the Jewish astronaut who died in the space\nshuttle Columbia <\/em>disaster.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Christianity (Quakers)\u2014Ann Goodgion<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Quakers, or members of the Religious Society of Friends, believe\nthat each of us is sacred. Each person possesses an \u201cinward light,\u201d which is\ndefined as \u201cthat of God\u201d in each of us. \u201cPlain speech,\u201d often associated with\nFriends, arose because one person, by his or her title, was not to be elevated\nabove another. Thus, Mr.<\/em> or Mrs.<\/em> is not part of a person\u2019s name. The familiar terms thee<\/em>, thy<\/em> and thou<\/em>, formerly used by Quakers, have faded from common\nusage. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Quakers believe in continuing revelation. Seeking the Spirit\nis very important, and this discernment is done in community. Friends do things\nby consensus, which takes a good deal of time. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Some Meetings have approved same-sex unions. The issue has\nnot arisen in the Syracuse Meeting. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Marriage is seen as a covenant between the marrying partners\nin the presence of God. Although there is no officiator at a Quaker marriage, Quakers\nhave developed a marriage certificate that is recognized in all states. The\ncertificate is signed and beautifully written out within the confines of\nsimplicity. <\/p>\n\n\n\n When a couple decides to marry, they write a letter to the\nMeeting. A committee meets with the couple to discuss issues that the couple\nwill face in their marriage. These clearness committees are used to help\nFriends become \u201cclear\u201d about major life decisions, not just membership and marriage.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n Christianity (Roman Catholicism)\u2014Nancy Sullivan Murray <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n The history of the Roman Catholic Church, like that of every\ninstitution, has both a dark side and a bright side. Nancy characterized\nVatican II, with its liberating message, as the bright side. She was married\nbefore Vatican II, whereas her children were married after Vatican II, and\ntheir experiences were very different. She and her husband were given no marriage\npreparation by the Church. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Marriage is both a social contract and a social sacrament in\nthe Catholic Church. At the marriage ceremony, there must be at least two\nwitnesses, who are supposed to be members of the Church and are expected to\nsupport the bridal couple. The Church now insists on Pre-Cana preparation; this\nis a series of meetings involving the bridal couple and a married Roman\nCatholic couple, with the latter focusing on issues that the former will face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Nancy believes that growing up in a community of faith is\nvery important. She recalled the passage in Matthew in which Jesus was taught\nby the elders in the Temple and \u201cgrew in favor with God and man.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n She read a blessing from the Catholic Missal stressing that not\nonly should the couple be blessed, but their union should become a blessing to\nothers and to the world as they seek to make the world a better place. Only two\nof Nancy\u2019s eight children have married within the Roman Catholic tradition. The\nothers have had interfaith marriages, and Nancy told of her Irish Catholic\ngrandmother\u2019s lace tablecloth being used as the chuppah, or canopy, in the\nmarriage ceremony of one of her children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Buddhism\u2014Bonnie Shoultz<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Bonnie has been a member of the Zen Center for six and a half\nyears. A Buddhist couple meets with the abbot before they are married. At the\nwedding, their families offer incense and have places of honor. The Heart\nSutra, which celebrates Buddha\u2019s nature in each of us, is chanted by all who\nare present. The celebrants and the community join with the couple to symbolize\nthe interconnectedness of all of them. The abbot invokes the protection and\nsupport of their ancestors. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The bridal couple state their vows, including refuge in\nBuddha, in dharma (one\u2019s righteous duty or spiritual path), and in sangha (community).\nThey promise to refrain from all evil and to practice what is good. They recite\nthe ten precepts and make a commitment to follow the most ethical and aware\npath of life. They make a statement of commitment to each other and exchange\nrings. Women spoke about their religious tradition\u2019s\u2014and their own personal\u2014beliefs about marriage.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":7864,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[21,15,16,17,19],"class_list":["post-7776","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-programs","tag-buddhism","tag-christianity","tag-islam","tag-judaism","tag-lifecycle",""],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wtb.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7776","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wtb.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wtb.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wtb.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wtb.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7776"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/wtb.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7776\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8542,"href":"https:\/\/wtb.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7776\/revisions\/8542"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wtb.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/7864"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wtb.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7776"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wtb.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7776"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wtb.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7776"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"