{"id":7774,"date":"2003-04-13T17:50:30","date_gmt":"2003-04-13T21:50:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wtb.org\/?p=7774"},"modified":"2019-01-23T17:03:56","modified_gmt":"2019-01-23T21:03:56","slug":"life-cycle-death-and-dying","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wtb.org\/?p=7774","title":{"rendered":"Life Cycle: Death and Dying"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Christian (Roman Catholic)\u2014Kathleen Dwyer<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

At a very young age Kathleen experienced the death of one of\nher grandmothers. Later, as a teenager, she mourned the death of her other grandmother\nwho was living with Kathleen\u2019s family at the time. Kathleen saw life as a chain\nof arrivals and departures. One moved along the chain and then one left. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, she had never thought of her children dying before\nher. On September 19, 1998, the unthinkable happened. The heart of her 31-year-old\nson, Jim, stopped. Jim was revived at a hospital but died a few days later. She\ndescribed the shock and intense suffering that she and her family went through.\nDid she feel that Jim\u2019s death was punishment by God? \u201cNever! My God cried with\nme,\u201d she stated. She found that Jim\u2019s death caused her to think more deeply\nabout such questions as \u201cWhere did we come from?\u201d and \u201cWhere do we go?\u201d She\nfound great comfort in her belief in resurrection. She quoted the priest and\nauthor Henri Nouwen, who said that to speak about death and dying without mentioning\nresurrection is like speaking about sailing without mentioning the wind. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kathleen continues to feel surrounded by the love of God,\nwhom she characterizes as the Common Parent who connects us all. She quoted the\nscripture that tells us to be unafraid, for \u201cI am with you always.\u201d She feels\nGod\u2019s presence in the people who listen to her and who surround her with\nkindness; she spoke especially of the kindness of the people at Methodist\nHospital in Memphis, where her son died. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We live the mystery daily, she said. Evening comes, followed\nby morning as we arise to a new day. After winter comes spring. Waiting and\ntrusting are the key. She believes that we will all be together again with our\nCreator in a new way. Where and how is part of the mystery.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because their son had a serious heart condition that was\nnever diagnosed, the Dwyer family established a memorial fund that seeks to\neducate others about signs that could lead to sudden cardiac death. The fund\nalso awards scholarships and raises money to place defibrillators in public\nplaces. A defibrillator in the caf\u00e9 where Jim Dwyer\u2019s heart stopped would\nprobably have saved his life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Judaism\u2014Mara Sapon-Shevin <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mara characterized Judaism as a religion based on behavior\nmore than beliefs. The Torah is full of rules, including rules about mourners\u2019\nbehavior. It is the highest honor to serve on the chevra kadisha, or burial\nsociety, which is a group of Jews who are knowledgeable in the area of\ntraditional duties and can display proper respect for the deceased. They\noversee the mourning procedure. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jews observe a democracy around death, treating all Jews\nalike. Wealthy or poor, all are equal before God. The deceased\u2019s body is\nguarded continually. It is washed in a ritual cleansing and then dressed in a white\nshroud, called a takhrikhim. At the time of burial, it is carried to the site\nof the memorial service and then to the gravesite, where the Mourners\u2019 Kaddish\nis recited. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

At all times, great respect is given to the body; there is no\nalteration of the body, nor is there a viewing. The body is always treated with\nmodesty, with women washing a woman\u2019s body and men washing a man\u2019s body.\nUsually a body is not subjected to an autopsy, although under certain\ncircumstances, an autopsy will be permitted; some Jews choose to become organ\ndonors. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Loved ones \u201csit shiva\u201d for seven days. (Shiva is the period\nof mourning.) They sit on uncomfortable stools and sometimes wear ripped\nribbons as symbols of their grief. The Mourners\u2019 Kaddish, a prayer praising and\nglorifying God, is recited three times a day. People pay a shiva call, bringing\nfood and sharing stories of the deceased. For 30 days after the death, mourners\nusually refrain from entertainment or social activities. The gravestone is\nveiled for a year, after which the shroud is removed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mara spoke of the role of both humor and superstition in\nJudaism. Laughter, she said, has sustained Jews through all their struggles.\nShe told of a telephone call from her father-in-law\u2019s doctor\u2019s office, as the\nfamily sat mourning her father-in-law\u2019s death. The caller reported how well his\nphysical tests had turned out and what good health he was in. The mourners all\nlaughed because they knew how much he would have loved that story. Even in\ntheir sorrow, laughter helped sustain them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Superstition, Mara said, prevents Jews from naming a child\nafter a living person, so that when the angel of death comes, he will not take\nthe child in place of the older person. Sometimes the name of the dying person\nwill be changed to fool the angel of death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The above rituals are observed more in the Orthodox and\nConservative traditions. Some Conservative and Reform traditions observe fewer\nof these rituals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Buddhism\u2014Roko Sherry Chayat<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sherry\u2019s father was killed in World War II when she was only\na year-and-a-half old. One of the things that drew her to Buddhism was its\nunderstanding of death. Buddhism sees a stream of continuity, a stream of being\nthat takes one form for a while and then moves on to another form. To\nparaphrase Nouwen (whom Kathleen quoted), \u201cBuddhism without reincarnation is\nlike sailing without the wind.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sherry shared a Tibetan Buddhist saying: \u201cNo being on earth\nwho has ever lived has not been my mother.\u201d The Buddhist understanding of cause\nand effect, called karma, means that we are responsible for all beings, since\nevery thought, word and deed has consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Buddhists believe that a person\u2019s consciousness remains for\nabout three days after his or her death. There is a gradual letting-go, a\nmoving into a transitional dimension. During these three days of mind\nawareness, Buddhists believe that the spirit of the departed one is very\nreceptive, so they chant sacred texts and do everything else possible to\nencourage a calm and peaceful passage so that the next rebirth will be a\nfavorable one. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sherry stressed that in Buddhism, there is a freedom from the\nfear of giving up one\u2019s body. Buddhists try to avoid autopsies or embalming;\nthey prefer cremation as Buddha was cremated. Buddhists chant outside the\ncrematorium; then the ashes are brought to the temple where the funeral is\nheld. The ashes may be kept on the altar for 49 days, at the end of which a\nmemorial service is held. By this time, it is believed, the consciousness, or\nmind-energy, has taken on a new form.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sherry recommended a children\u2019s book, The\nMountains of Tibet,<\/em> for a good explanation of Buddhist beliefs about\ndeath and reincarnation. Another recommended book is Sogyal Rinpoche\u2019s Tibetan Book of Living and Dying. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Islam\u2014Danya Wellmon <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Danya lost her daughter, Sara, this past winter. She stated\nthat Muslims believe that everything created by God dies. However, the soul\nfaces no death; it is transitioned to the hereafter. The soul is placed in the\nbaby before birth by two angels who stay with the person throughout his or her life.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For there to be justice, there must be accountability.\nAccountability starts at puberty. The prophets have shown Muslims how to live\nin obedience to God. Therefore, a Muslim strives to be obedient and, at the\ntime of death, rests in the hope of God\u2019s mercy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the angel of death comes, the soul leaves its earthly\nbody. The soul goes to the seventh level of heaven, where God is and where it\nis reunited with other family members. An evil person\u2019s soul goes to Hell. Only\nGod knows who will be punished. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

For the persons left behind, death is only a temporary\nseparation. Muslims believe that \u201cfrom God we come and to God we return.\u201d They believe\nthat the person who dies can continue to reap rewards after death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Muslims are buried quickly. There is no embalming, and autopsies\nare avoided. The body is washed and shrouded in 100 percent white cotton cloth,\nwith only Muslims handling the body. Women wash a woman, and men wash a man; either\nmay wash a child. A husband or a wife may wash the other. Modesty is observed,\neven if a body must go to the coroner\u2019s office. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The body is placed in a pine box put together with pegs\nrather than nails. It is taken to the mosque, where prayers are said. Then men\ncarry it to the burial site, where more prayers are recited as the body is\nlowered into the ground, head slightly elevated and facing Mecca. Danya\ncharacterized the whole ritual as quick and simple. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Christian, Jewish, Muslim and Buddhist speakers described rituals related to death and dying and their experiences around the deaths of loved ones.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":7864,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[21,15,16,17,19],"class_list":["post-7774","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-programs","tag-buddhism","tag-christianity","tag-islam","tag-judaism","tag-lifecycle",""],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wtb.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7774","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wtb.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wtb.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wtb.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wtb.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7774"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/wtb.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7774\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8546,"href":"https:\/\/wtb.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7774\/revisions\/8546"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wtb.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/7864"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wtb.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7774"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wtb.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7774"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wtb.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7774"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}