The subtitle of this meeting was \u201cSpeaking Out About Our Lives: Sharing Stories, Seeking Support.\u201d Speakers addressed serveral questions:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What is good about being a part of my group(s)?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Wynetta Devore <\/em><\/strong>spoke\nabout being a mature, African-American professor. She spoke of ancestors who\nhad once left Ghana in the holds of slave ships, commodities of the Middle\nPassage to be traded at the end of the voyage. She spoke of parents and aunts\nand uncles who were the children of sharecroppers and had been sent to rural\nschools for colored children, but who saw to it that their own children, Wynetta\nand her generation, went to college and earned undergraduate and graduate\ndegrees, becoming teachers, social workers, lawyers, managers, and, in\nWynetta\u2019s case, a college professor. Her family represented what was good about\nbeing an African-American in a racist society that puts up all kinds of\nbarriers. Excellence was expected from all her family members. Segregation did\nnot stand in the way of their success. It was good to know that she was valued\u2014she\nwas told so by her father\u2014and to participate in the joy of family traditions. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Ann Eppinger Port<\/strong> spoke about\nbeing a Jewish woman. She feels blessed that Jews have strong family and\ncommunity ties. She likes the fact that the Jewish religion encourages critical\nthinking; this is rooted in the study of the Torah which, although seen as a\ndivine message, contains secrets that can be discerned only through study and\ndialogue. Traditionally, scholars who studied the Torah were highly regarded\nand taken care of by others so they could devote their time to study. Education\nbecame more and more important as Jews experienced persecution and were driven\nfrom their homelands and into ghettoes. They could not take material\npossessions with them; the only thing they could take was the knowledge in\ntheir heads. Education continues to be important to Jews. Ann also values the\nJewish emphasis on the whole person; Jews do not deny either their physical or their\nspiritual needs. Judaism is a humane religion, with an overriding concern for\nlife and living people. Ann values Judaism\u2019s belief that the individual\ncommunicates directly with God. As a Jew, she must take responsibility for her\nown actions; she cannot look to anyone else, past or present, to absolve her\nfrom her sins. She also appreciates Judaism\u2019s respect for the rights of others\nto have their own religious beliefs. Jews believe that their religion is right\nfor them, but they recognize that others choose to view and worship God\ndifferently. Ann feels comfortable studying other religions and their art; the\nmore she learns, the more her knowledge helps ground her in her Jewish faith.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Kalpana Srinivas<\/strong> spoke about\nbeing a Hindu woman, a wife, and a mother. She was born into and brought up in\na traditional Hindu home in India. Her father was a civil engineer, and her mother\nhad an eighth-grade education. Because her father was transferred often and the\nfamily moved with him, the children were sent to boarding schools. Kalpana attended\na convent school where she recited the Lord\u2019s Prayer with her classmates. She\nprayed to \u201cOur Father\u201d and wanted to know why her mother was left out! So her\nparents sat her down and educated her about the Hindu religion. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Goddesses play an important part in Hinduism. Kalpana\u2019s mother\ntold her there is nothing she could not accomplish if she made up her mind to\ndo so and did not let other people stop her. This, and the realization of the\nimportance of female goddesses in the Hindu religion, provided a turning point\nin her life that made her realize she was in no way inferior to any man on this\nearth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Bonnie Shoultz <\/em><\/strong>was\nraised as a white Protestant in a religion that never felt comfortable to her,\neven as a child in the Midwest. She became kind of a rebel and, because of that,\nhas taken on identities that are not typical of people in her milieu. She spoke\nabout three of them: (1) She has been practicing with the Zen Center since 1996\nand is now a Buddhist nun; she went for 40 years with no faith tradition at all\nafter she gave up Protestantism. (2) Both of Bonnie\u2019s children, who are now 38\nand 40 years old, have disabilities, and being a parent of a child with a\ndisability becomes an identity. (3) In the mid 1980s, after having been married\nand divorced, Bonnie fell in love with a woman and self-identified as a lesbian\nfor 15 years; then she fell in love with a man, which taught her that you\ncannot put yourself in boxes. That realization was very liberating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Bonnie finds that one good thing about being a Buddhist is\nthe wonderful sanga, or congregation, that practices together. Another is that Buddhism\nis a very experiential rather than a belief-oriented religion. She feels\ngratitude for Buddhism\u2019s 2500-year history and for the people who kept the\ntradition alive all those years. She appreciates that there is an important\nplace for women in the Buddhist tradition and that there is no discrimination against\npeople who are not heterosexual. Being the parent of a child with a disability has\nmade Bonnie deal with her own and others\u2019 oppressive attitudes toward parents\nwho have children with disabilities. It has taught her to empathize with people\nwho suffer oppression, and it led her to a career that she loves. Moreover, in taking\non an identity that is not heterosexual, she has learned how to deal with people\u2019s\nnarrow-minded behaviors.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Cheryl Spear <\/em><\/strong>is\none of ten children of a stay-at-home mom who home-schooled her until she was\nin sixth grade. Then she and her brother integrated a white, Seventh-day\nAdventist boarding school in Tennessee. By the age of 14, she had really left\nhome. Her mother told her how proud she was of the person that Cheryl had\nbecome. Cheryl became legally blind when she was in her 20s, so she took on the\nidentity of having a disability. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Her present identity that she focused on for this\npresentation is that of an African-American woman with a disability. She likes\nthat she does not see everything, that she can go from Point A to Point B\nwithout being distracted by the \u201cin between.\u201d It is important to Cheryl to be\nwith other people with different disabilities as they deal with their needs.\nBeing African-American, she knows how to put on one persona with one group and\nanother persona with another group. She likes being able to move in the world\nand be a bit more herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Tricia Pethic <\/em><\/strong>is\na history major at Lemoyne College and converted to Islam two and a half years\nago. She told us that there are 7 million Muslims in the United States. Most\nare affluent, young, and well educated. The top four vocations are student,\nphysician, engineer and homemaker. Overall, Tricia has been respected as a\nMuslim in America. A good thing about wearing hijab is that with people seeing\nyou as a symbol of Islam, you try to practice what you preach! <\/p>\n\n\n\n What\u2019s hard about being African-American, Wynetta<\/strong> said, is being invisible to colleagues, both men and\nwomen, and to service people in stores and restaurants. It is being disregarded\nby some African-American men and women with regard to your professional\nachievements. It is having a store clerk question your son\u2019s need for a tennis\nracquet. It is having people at integrated events think that you are the maid.\nIt is having people stare at groups of African-American and white people\nsocializing with each other. It is when your son\u2019s university classmates think\nthat his mother could not possibly be a member of the faculty. It is the racist\nassumption that African-Americans can only sing, dance, and play ball, that in\nmale sports they can throw but do not have the skills to manage. It is hearing\nBill Cosby speak about urban African-American youth and family responsibility\nand knowing that there is too much truth in what he says because you know the\nwomen and the children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ann<\/strong> said that because Jews are\ntaught to care for the earth, she finds it difficult to witness the\nexploitation of the earth and the denial of global warming by this country\u2019s\nleaders. Because Jews believe in caring for the old, the young, and the infirm,\nit is painful to see policies by our country\u2019s leaders that deny needed services\nto these populations. Judaism has taught Ann to give priority to the sanctity\nof people\u2019s lives. When the choice is between an existing human being and the\npotential for life embodied in a mass of cells (as is the case with stem-cell\nresearch, which has the potential to cure human diseases and relieve human\nsuffering, and with a woman\u2019s right to choose whether or not to continue a\npregnancy), Judaism\u2019s concern is for the physical, mental, emotional and\nspiritual state of the living human being. Ann finds it sad that this humane\nphilosophy is being portrayed by many of our current leaders as inherently\nevil.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ann finds it upsetting when people malign Israel without looking\nat the good that the country has achieved. She does not appreciate being\nfaulted for supporting this one tiny country where Jews have established a\nhomeland. She quoted Ariel Sharon who spoke, after the rededication of the Yad\nVashem Holocaust History Museum in Jerusalem, about the difference between\nliving in one\u2019s own country, where one is protected, and standing alone and\nutterly defenseless, as were the Holocaust victims who were confronted by \u201ca\nbeast in human form.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n Christmastime can be uncomfortable because of other people\u2019s\nassumption that everyone celebrates Christmas. Sadly, there are still places in\nthis country where Ann feels at risk to wear a Jewish religious symbol. Hatred\nand bigotry still exist, as reflected in the rise of neo-Nazi and other hate\ngroups. There are still people claiming that the Jews killed Jesus, that 9\/11\nwas a Jewish plot, that no Jews were killed in the bombing of the World Trade\nCenter. How can she explain to her children, Ann asked, that no matter how much\ngood they do for the world, there are people who will hate them merely because\nthey are Jewish?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Kalpara<\/strong> told of how she worked\nin the American Embassy in Delhi, married, and immigrated to the United States.\nShe had a daughter and was five months pregnant with her son when her husband\nwas killed in an automobile accident. Her son was born with a handicap, and she\nhad to decide whether to stay here or return to India. She knew that in India,\nshe would encounter prejudice against widows and mothers of handicapped\nchildren, but she would have some family and other support there. She decided\nto stay in the US, however, after discovering that her parents would not allow\nher to live alone in India. <\/p>\n\n\n\n She said that the US has opened up its arms to her and\nprovided support for her son. Her daughter is now in medical school. Her son is\naging out of Fayetteville-Manlius High School, and the whole system is working\nwith her to place him in a job and perhaps a program at Onondaga Community\nCollege. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Bonnie<\/strong> has found that although\nshe sometimes has to explain her shaved head, it is not really that difficult\nto do so. What is difficult is people who speak or act out of their ignorance.\nHaving a child with a disability was very painful at first, with people giving\nher strange looks and making comments. Particularly painful were comments by\nteachers. However, because of her children\u2019s disabilities, Bonnie has met some\nwonderful people who are now friends. The most difficult problem regarding her\nsexual orientation, Bonnie said, is always having to think about whether or not\nto come out. She has to assess each situation to decide if it is safe to come\nout, and if it is not safe she has to decide whether or not to come out anyway.\nIf it is a situation that she will be in frequently, Bonnie said, it is better\nto come out because people are going to make comments that they will feel badly\nabout later when they learn of her identity. A particularly difficult time was\nwhen her daughter was a member of a very fundamentalist Christian religion. Her\ndaughter had just had a child when Bonnie fell in love with a woman, and Bonnie\nfeared that her daughter might keep Bonnie away from her grandchild. After\nabout a year, Bonnie told her daughter about the relationship. Her daughter\u2019s\nfundamentalist friends told Bonnie\u2019s daughter that Bonnie would go to hell. Knowing\nBonnie as she did, her daughter decided to leave the fundamentalist church, so\ntelling her became a blessing. Telling everyone close to her has been a\nblessing, Bonnie said, although she has felt a lot of anxiety ahead of time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Cheryl<\/strong> <\/em>said\nthat when she cannot get something she needs, it is difficult for her to know\nwhat she is being punished for. Is it because of her disability? Or because\nshe\u2019s a woman? Or because she is African-American? \u201cNot knowing\u201d makes it hard\nfor her to work out ways to negotiate a situation. This has happened most often\nin universities where she has studied, including here in Syracuse. In her\nAfrican-American studies classes, she is not sure if she is being dismissed\nbecause she is a woman or because she is disabled. African-American studies do\nnot deal with disabilities, nor do disability groups talk about race or gender.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n Tricia<\/strong> is looking forward to\ngoing to Egypt in the fall, perhaps because she will fit in as a Muslim and not\nbe the exception to the rule. Before starting to wear the headscarf, Tricia\nwould hear anti-Muslim remarks and jokes that she found painful. She has\nlearned to gather strength to overcome such ignorance, and she takes heart from\na saying of Muhammad: \u201cMuslims are like the date palm. People throw stones at\nit, and it yields fruit.\u201d There have been painful times with her family,\nalthough Tricia realizes that these have occurred because of their concern for\nher. She also finds it difficult to be regarded, at times, by non-Muslims as an\n\u201cexpert\u201d on Islam and the whole Middle East!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Wynetta<\/strong>\nwants her allies to trust her when she tells her story and to speak out against\nracism and sexism. She wants them to ask real questions and be aware that\nstereotyping and oppression exist. She wants them to be aware of the health\nhazards that African-Americans face, to read African-American authors, to be\naware of scholars such as Cornel West and Henry Louis Gates, theologian James\nForbes, and playwright Suzan-Lori Parks. She also wants us to know that in her\nhome she serves neither soul food nor cheap wine!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ann<\/strong> said it would be wonderful\nto not hear any more anti-Semitic comments; for example that Jews are parasites,\nor control Wall Street and the media, or killed Jesus, or are rich. None of\nthese statements is true. And no more \u201cyou people\u201d comments! She would like us\nto wish her a \u201chappy holiday,\u201d and she welcomes questions about her religion.\nShe would like us to respect her support for Israel; her support does not mean\nshe is in favor of everything that Israel does, just as she is not in favor of everything\nthe US does. She would like to see more groups like WTB. She believes that our\nultimate truths do not have to be the same.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Kalpana<\/strong>,<\/em>\nlikewise, does not want to hear the \u201cyou-people thing.\u201d She does not want to\nhear ignorant comments, such as when the people at the Social Security office\nassumed she did not know English or when a guest of her sister commented that\nthe Indian food looked like dog food. She does not want to hear people exclaim\n\u201cWhat?\u201d when they hear her name.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Bonnie<\/strong> <\/em>wants\npeople to say, in a respectful way, that they are really interested in hearing\nabout Buddhism or disabilities or bisexuality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Cheryl<\/strong> <\/em>has\nconcerns over language issues. Words that she never wants to hear again are minority<\/em>, which to her implies subordination, and the\ncolor-terms dark<\/em> and black<\/em>,\nbecause the darkest cultures are always treated the worst. Also on her list are\ncripple<\/em> and retarded<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Tricia<\/strong> too welcomes questions\nasked with respect.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Women talked about some of the challenges they have faced as an African American, Jew, Hindu, Zen Buddhist, African American with a disability, and Muslim.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[23,21,22,16,17],"class_list":["post-7746","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-programs","tag-advocacy","tag-buddhism","tag-hinduism","tag-islam","tag-judaism",""],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wtb.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7746","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wtb.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wtb.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wtb.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wtb.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7746"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/wtb.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7746\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8975,"href":"https:\/\/wtb.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7746\/revisions\/8975"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wtb.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7746"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wtb.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7746"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wtb.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7746"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nWhat is difficult about being a member of my\ngroup(s)?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nWhat do you never want to hear again? What do you\nwant from your allies?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n